Don't give up hope

I'm sitting here today...and all I feel is sadness, defeat, and confusion.

I'm tired of people telling me (or posting on facebook) the following:

• Get over it!
• Deal with it!
• Now you know how I've felt the last 8 years!
• He is your President!

I'm sad.  I feel like I (as well as the whole country) have let down a whole generation.  Our country has proved that you don't have to treat people with respect.  You can mock those who are different. Bullying is okay.

Even though....we've been telling them these things aren't okay!  AND THEY'RE NOT!!!

I VERY, very rarely post any political thoughts on facebook.  I mostly try to stay out of arguments (even though I did engage a couple people recently).  And I don't EVER belittle anyone for thinking differently than me.  It's not me.  And it's also not right.

Unfortunately, everyone doesn't think that way.  They have been empowered to tell me (and people that think like me) that I'm (they're) wrong.  That I think wrong.

I use my blog as my source of venting.  It is public (as you know if you're reading this), but I don't share my posts publicly any more.  I try to avoid the criticism from those who do think differently.  So if you're reading and you want to post hate, please move on!  I have no time or energy to engage with you.  If you want to share your thoughts or beliefs in a respectful manner, you are welcome to do so....regardless if you think differently than me.

I don't hope that he fails!  I truly don't!  But I'm scared of what's to come.  What he will tweet.  What decisions he will make.  What decisions his cabinet will make.  Because those decisions affect us all.  They affect our children's educations.  Their futures!

I've truly never been a political person.  I've voted in every Presidential election...but I've just never been passionate about it.  I've also never been so compelled to hate someone the way I hate him.  I've never felt so at fear for the sake of our country!  I don't know what's to come, just like the rest of the country....but I can't shake this feeling.  The uneasiness in my stomach.  The pressure on my chest.  I feel it to the core of my being.  I want to reach out to those who feel the same way.  To those who need a hand.  To those who need a hug.  I want change and I plan to start working towards it now!

Just know, that I respect each person's choice to love who they choose.  Your skin color does not make you a bad person.  A woman can decide whether she will carry and birth a baby.  And I will go high, when they go low!  I will keep fighting for what I believe in!

If you too are struggling with this....I understand.  But don't lose hope of what we can accomplish.  Don't lose hope in the future.  Change can happen.  Stand up for what you believe!  Stand up for those who can't!

I will fight for what I believe in!  ❤

 

Electoral College or Popular Vote?

Since the pain from this election is still lingering with me...I thought I'd pose this question.


Electoral College OR Popular Vote???


Just in case someone doesn't really know what the electoral college is...  A general definition from Wikipedia: The United States Electoral College is the body that elects the president and vice president of the United States every four years. Citizens of the United States do not directly elect the president or the vice president; instead they choose "electors", who pledge beforehand to vote for the candidate who wins in their party.

Each state gets to choose as many electors as the combined total of the number of U.S. senators and representatives to which the state is entitled. The District of Columbia gets at most the number of electors it would have if it were a state but not more than the number of electors of the least-populous state (currently three). There are therefore currently 538 electors, corresponding to the 435 representatives and 100 senators in the House of Representatives and the Senate, plus the three electors for the District of Columbia. The Constitution bars any federal official, elected or appointed, from being an elector.

A little history....  The electoral college was formed in 1787!  Really!  It was formed because people didn't know about the candidates.  They didn't travel to meet them.  They didn't have access to the information to learn about them.  The members who were chosen to vote for the electoral college, then educated themselves on the candidates.  

Now....here's my question.  Is this really relevant today???  My opinion is no.  

The majority of the public has access to the internet, with all it's good and bad information.  This gives them the power to research and learn about the candidates running for election.  Obviously, with that comes all the misinformation that is on the internet.  One must be diligent in choosing where their information comes from!  I like to read on the candidates personal websites.  This gives the information that tells what they stand for.  What they want to do for our country.  What they have previously done.  Then you can also check voting history for past politicians at Vote Smart.  My research turned up, that it is an unbiased site.  

Now, I'm sure you've all seen all the memes that are on social media.  Here's one for example...

And yes.... approximately 1/2 the population might live in those areas.  But what the general population isn't understanding, is that not everyone in those areas thinks or votes the same way.  I live in the grey...and more people in the US agreed with me apparently in voting for Hillary Clinton.    

There are people in the blue areas that voted for Donald Trump.  There are lots of people in the grey areas that voted for Hillary Clinton.  If people in the grey didn't vote for Hillary Clinton, she would not have won the popular vote.  

Let's use Missouri, since I live here.  According to this map....only Kansas City and St. Louis areas voted for Hillary Clinton.  I know this is incorrect, as she received 936 votes from tiny little St. Clair County.  In total, she received 1,054,889 votes in Missouri.  Donald Trump only received 1,585,753 votes in Missouri.  This map does nothing to show that 40% of our state voted for Hillary Clinton.  To me....this map shows that 95% of Missouri voted for Donald Trump, which we know is incorrect.    

To me...this isn't Civics 101.  This is real life!    You have to understand that people from all walks of life, live in all different parts of the country.  The major populated areas are not the only ones who vote.  They are not the only ones who should be heard.  

A popular vote would encourage people from everywhere to vote.  It would encourage everyone from every walk of life, to let their voices be heard.  

Your vote would count.  My vote would count.  Each and every voter would count.

Right now.... my vote essentially didn't count.  I'm a blue, in a giant sea of red.  I knew which way my state would swing.  But....if every democratic voter in the state of Missouri had opted to stay home on election day....Hillary Clinton would not have won the popular vote.   So, our votes did count.  To me, they prove why the electoral college is no longer needed, and why the people of the US should have their voice and vote heard!  

Election 2016

WOW!  Oh my god!  Did that really just happen?

Okay, so I'm obviously a Liberal.  I'm a blue.  In a giant sea of red.  You might be too...or you might not.  It doesn't make me care any less about you!

I've taken a few days to process this....and I still am shocked!  I honestly thought, she had this election in the bag!  I thought there was ZERO chance for DJT to get elected!

Then, the election happened.

I honestly have never felt so empty, so lost over something that I don't have sole control over!  I mean, I voted.  I did my part.  I knew that I was not going to change the outcome of my red state, but I still voted.  I was the majority!

Then, there is the horror of Facebook.  Every time I look at it, there is someone mocking those who are distraught.  They are telling us to get over it.  Deal with it.  WELL I DON'T WANT TO!  I am NOT a "Libtard" as they say!  I am a very well educated woman.  I do my research, I know my values.  And I vote based on that!  Truthfully, I don't vote a straight ticket even.

To those who think that we are "over reacting"...please understand.  I have watched you mock our current POTUS for the last 8 years.  You think he needs to be gone.  You think he's done nothing helpful.  I have said NOTHING to you.  I haven't told you that you need to get over it.  Or that you need to deal with it.  I tolerated your ignorant memes.  I let you have your own pity party, for EIGHT whole years!

So please, give me my time to mourn.  Give those who want to march and protest their time.  Remember that a peaceful protest is protected by our US Constitution.  We have freedom of speech.  Just like you!

In the end, we all have to hope that our President elect has the best interests of our country at heart.  That he truly wants to make things better.  I don't feel like he has to "Make America Great Again", because I feel like it's already great!  We live in the best country!  We have so many rights that are guaranteed by our Constitution.

My hopes are that he doesn't carry through with plans for mass deportations, banning Muslims, blocking abortions completely, ending all LGBT rights, and totally dismantling "Obamacare".   These things are where my fear and hurt come in.  These things will affect many people.  Hurt many people.  And we are all human beings.  We all have issues we need to deal with.  You are not to judge based on how one chooses to live their life.  If you don't agree with them, please remove yourself from their life.  But....please don't try to tell them or me how to live.



PS....Please treat your children how to act towards others!  The name calling, mocking, and straight up bullying based on political beliefs is ABSURD!  We are all free to believe what we choose! We all need to understand that there will be highs, and lows, and wins, and losses.  There will be mourning, sadness, joyfulness, and excitement for each political election.  Each child and adult will handle their emotions differently.  There is no need to instigate a reaction, name call, mock, or bully someone for their reactions.  Let them be.  We will all "get over it" in time.  We will accept that DJT is our POTUS, and we will survive.

Just know...that #imstillwithher

On a final note, a quote from Secretary Clinton's most remarkable concession speech:   And — and to all the little girls who are watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams.  

Blog Revamp

I was bored today...and decided it was time to mature my blog a little.  I haven't been here in awhile, and quite frankly, I miss writing.  I miss venting to my friends.

New background.

New fonts.

Lots of changes.

While I'm here, I vent a little!  ;)  This whole political season has me in the weirdest of moods.  I feel like everyone is attacking everyone else.  If you don't agree with them, you can't be friends.  It's just so crazy.  The reason our country works, is because we don't all want the same things.  We don't all always agree.  We have our own thoughts.  Ideas.  Dreams.  Aspirations.  We have to learn to work together for the common good.  I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking it's okay to call someone names because of who they are voting for.  I don't want her to call someone names for any reason.  Treat people with respect!  Love them!

But this weather!  It's so very perfect.  Windows and doors open.  Breeze blowing through.  70°. Too bad it can't be this way always!

PS....being an adult is sometimes VERY unfun too!

Out of Shape and Out of Motivation

I'm fat!  Plain and simple...I know it, and those around me know it!  But the problem is, I have ZERO motivation help myself!  My depression has consumed me...and all I want to do is sleep!  It sucks!  :(  I did just start a new med...that hopefully will get me back to "myself", or at least I hope so!!  But it's a med I have to increase the dosage very slowly....so it will take a bit to work.

When I get back to myself....I have been changing other things in my life to help better myself.  Like eating less carbs.  Eating more vegetables.  Cutting out some OTC pills.  Using essential oils.  But just changing those things doesn't change much with my body size and weight.  I feel like I'm forever doomed to be fat!  It's hard to start walking or exercising when I'm this fat...because it takes so much effort!  I know people say just get up and do it, but it hurts.  I hurt.  I just want to cry.

I don't want sympathy.  I don't want encouragement.  I just wanted to whine and vent.

When You Want to Give Your Spouse Something You Can't

That moment....your team, the Kansas City Royals that is....makes it to the World Series!  The excitement is unreal!
Let me start by saying that we've been Royals fans, even when they weren't good! We've spent money to see our team play, and lose miserably.  We've spent money to cheer them on and root for them anyway!
But then there's this.... they've made it to the World Series the last 2 years!  I somehow feel so worthless, because I can't even afford 1 ticket.  I can't send my husband to watch his team! Our team! It's so sad to me!
It makes me question my career choices, my spending habits, everything I do.  How can do many people afford these tickets, but I can't even get it together and afford 1 ticket?
#foreverRoyal #takethecrown #trueblue

Essential Oils

I know I've already written about essential oils, but I just can't help but share my love for them!  It's not only me that uses them...but Richie and Ali too!  Seriously!  They each have their own routine! It makes me so happy!

Remember, when I write about essential oils, I am ONLY writing about Young Living essential oils!  They are a pure therapeutic grade oil, that is derived from plants.  They are strictly tested, as well as the seeds, soil, plants, etc!  It is a long process and it makes it all worth it, to know that the essential oil I am using is of the very best quality!  I know there were no pesticides used on or around the plant it came from.  I know that it was tested after distillation, and that it met all standards!  Go HERE to see more info on Young Living's Seed to Seal promise!

Have you ever wondered about getting started with essential oils?  I would love to answer any questions you have, and help you get started!  You can either message me here on my blog, contact me on facebook, or call/text me if you have my cell number.  ;)

If you are interested in just diving in, to improve your health and wellness....you can go HERE to get your Premium Starter Kit.  When you sign up and order your Premium Starter Kit, I will send you some goodies to help get your started on your health and wellness journey!!

If you are interested in making some extra money, I will share with you how to do that as well!  :)

By the way, if you didn't already know....my family LOVES our essential oils!  My favorite is the Cool Azul Sports Cream...and a close second is Tranquil Roll-On.  Ali loves Lavender!

Adoption

I haven't written in awhile...but I have great news to share!  Ali, while she has always been mine, has been adopted by Richie!

Richie has been in Ali's life for 7 years (she was only 6 when he came to us).  Over her half her life!  He's been providing for her for over half her life!  Giving her love, compassion, and attention...for over half her life!

The sperm donor (this is what I've decided to call him, because he has no idea on how great of a kid he missed out on)....well he was in the picture for about 2 years.  Then it got less and less.  I bet I could count on 2 hands how many times he's seen her in the last 7 years!  No joke!

Anyhow, Richie has always been daddy!  He's shown Ali a father's love, treated her like his little girl, and been there for her through all her ups and downs.

This year, after being told "Don't text me anymore" about needs for his child...we filed the adoption.  I couldn't take the frustration that came along with dealing with him!  Why can he not step up to the plate and care for his daughter??  

After consulting an attorney...we paid the retainer and filed the paperwork.  We were told to expect 6 months, even if he sent the papers back consenting to the adoption.  Low and behold...he sent them back in record time!!  Sad that he could just sign her away!!  

The best part...after Ali met with her attorney (the guardian ad litem, required for a minor child), the attorney's got a court date scheduled!  

We went to court on July 6, just 2 short months after filing for the adoption!  Richie and I both had to "testify" that we knew what we were doing, could support her (like we hadn't been already?  ha!), and that if we split up he would be entitled to custody rights and paying child support.  Fifteen (yes 15) short minutes later, we were out of the court room with Ali legally belonging to Richie and I!!!!  

Adoption day!!  

Richie FRAZIER: Est. 9/10/1980

Ali FRAZIER: Est. 7/6/2015

Jennifer FRAZIER: Est. 6/5/10

Our Failing Education System

When did athletics become more important than academics? This has been bothering me for some time now.  I get that athletics are important to some, heck my daughter loves her sports!  But our tax dollars are to fund schools, to teach kids! Math. Science. English. History. Art. Music. And, yes athletics.  But why is it acceptable to get rid of an excellent teacher to hire a coach?

Someone near and dear to my family has been replaced, because the school needed a coach! Would they ever admit to that? NO! But it's quite apparent! A certified English teacher, replaced with a pe teacher, to teach English! Tell me he wasn't hired to coach!

It's frustrating! I'm not saying he isn't a good teacher, or won't be great with the kids..... but I just don't see how they could justify this happening!

The replaced had never been written up, reprimanded, or had any negative interactions! She just wasn't a "good fit"!  It's a joke!  The students loved her! My daughter has actually been enjoying reading!

I definitely don't miss the politics of the school! The only thing I really miss at this point.... summer vacation!! 

Living Through a Renovation

Nice, new, and functional!  That is the dream I had when we decided on a renovation!  Ali moved to a new bedroom over a year ago.  We had the big dream of converting her old (large) bedroom into an office and new bathroom for Ali.  We started this project months (I'm talking 6-7-8 months) ago!!!  I don't even remember, that's how long it's been!

We gutted the new office completely to the studs, added new insulation, new sheet rock, got rid of the loose, un-capped, LIVE wires in the walls, and added all new electric as well!  I mean, who does that?  Who in the hell leaves an un-capped live wire, loose in a wall?!?!?  We found it because we decided to put in new sheet rock and get rid of the textured walls in there.  Thankfully in the 6 years we've lived here, our house didn't burn down!  

 You can tell that they just took out and switch and stuffed the wire back in the wall!  No common sense!

Anyhow...we got all the "in the wall" stuff done: electric and insulation!  Then we got all new sheet rock up and mudded.  The hubs has been working on leveling the ceiling, because we decided to get rid of the popcorn while we were at it!  SO....this is where we are at a stand still!

Life got in the way!  Ali had competition cheer season and now we're in the midst of softball season.  Richie jumped in for an injured track coach and finished out the season for her.  School is ending for Richie, so that means getting all his grading done, and getting his room ready for summer.  So, we have an office, that needs finished!  

I will share a bit of the madness I've been living in!  It's crazy, SCARY, and downright frustrating!!  The hubs has promised to work hard this summer, when he's not at college!  Oh yes...he's been working on his Master's in the midst of all of this too!  He's got a 4.0 GPA and has just 2 semesters until he graduates!  

I did get my cabinets for my office ordered last weekend!!!  Though they may take up to 4 weeks to arrive. Now, I have to find countertop, and make a trip to Ikea and get my Kallax shelving.  But first....I have to prime and paint, as soon as the ceiling and finish sanding are done!  

I promise we aren't hoarders!!!  This is stuff from Ali's room (that still needs 'finishing' touches), stuff from my office, PLUS many things that will be sold/given away when we get this put together!  

If I seem stressed, mad, or just lost....please understand that I have an excuse!  I cannot wait until this project is done, and I have my house back!!!  We haven't been able to eat at our dining table for months!  

I promise I will share pictures when it's done!!  Or mostly done anyway!  Because I only ordered lower cabinets....until we can afford the uppers!  I'm going to make this office fabulous!  :)

Run Like a Diva

I'm going to follow up my mad, sad, frustrated post, with a happy post!!  

Ali loves doing 5K's!  Last year she did quite a few of them.  This year, we've only managed to get her signed up for 1 so far, but she was awesome!!!

Yesterday she participated in the Diva's 5K in Branson.  Ali did this same race last year, and she had fun!  Plus, it's always fun to get away to Branson! ;)  Last year, my mom had said she wanted to join Ali for a fun, girly 5K....so we signed her and Ali up together!  

 Here's their before pictures!  Aren't they cute? 

By the way....I think that's my mom's first ever duck face!  ha!

They had planned to walk the 5K together!  They  went down and when they race started, they "jogged" together.  Ali noticed that my mom was falling behind her, so she turned and was going to stop and wait for her to catch up, so they could walk.  When Ali turned to my mom, Mom told her not to wait.  She didn't want to hold her back.  So my darling Ali, who has NEVER ran much, decided she was going to run the entire 5K!  I was like....what!!  

Anyway...we got down to the finish line, thinking we had plenty of time to watch for them to come in, only to turn to the right, and Ali had already finished!  She ran the 3.2 miles in 39 minutes and 15 seconds!  I was so proud of my girl!!!!  

It was time to watch for mom then!!  My mom had never done a 5K!  So...I was excited to watch for her!

 

Here's both of them after they had finished.

Here's my momma getting her medal and the fireman hunk that gave it to her!  

WAY TO GO MOM!!!  WAY TO GO ALI!!!  

Be Yourself!!!

As you well know...I have a teenager!  I don't possibly think I am old enough to be a parent of a teenager, but I am.  Teenagers are vicious creatures!  They are usually the meanest to each other.  What really gets me....when an adult is the culprit of evil!

My daughter wanted her hair cut.  She wanted a trendy style, that she'd seen on tv, the internet, and on others.  So...I thought, it's just hair, I don't care.  It will always grow back.  Last night when we got home from our weekend getaway...I shaved the side of her head.  She's a sassy little teen girl, so it fits her personality well!  It looks super cute on her too!

Now...I tell my mom, that I cut her hair, and tell her how...she flips out.  She has preceded to make Ali feel bad/sad for wanting her hair like that!  Why would you make a child feel bad for wanting a certain hair style?  You don't have to do it to your hair, you don't even have to like it, but don't try to make her feel bad for doing it...  Of course, she yelled at me and told me I shouldn't have done that, or even let her.  URGH!!!!  

This is right after I finished.  She clearly loves it....look at that smile on her face!  

She is always so excited that I let her be herself!

I think that letting her be herself...just helps her express herself!  She doesn't care what people think (except her parents and grandparents obviously)!  So now, she's feeling bad for her choice....

Here's a shot with the hair down!  

I told you she had sas!  ;) 

I love this girl so much!!  

So...any thoughts or opinions??  Am I just crazy for letting her be herself?  

Essential Oil LOVE!!

I'm sure that you have heard someone around you talk about using Essential Oils....right?  I was first introduced to oils by my sister.  She started using them to help her autistic son.  I got interested, so I started doing my research.  I was curious about where the oils came from, why they work, and what could they do for me...  

Firstly, I was SOLD on the fact the Young Living owns their own farms!  They know where their product is EVERY SINGLE STEP of the way!!  For more information, please check out their website here:  http://www.seedtoseal.com/en.  After seeing this promise from Young Living, I didn't want to buy just any oil!  Actually, I did some more research, and I found that many oil companies just purchase oil and re-bottle or re-label it.  No joke!  They don't even know where the oil came from!  

Secondly, I LOVE that by becoming a wholesale member, I get a 24% discount ALWAYS!  I don't have to make sales, and I'm not required to purchase a set amount monthly!  I also don't have to wait on a commission check when I place my own order.  It is at my discount!  

Thirdly, I got to purchase the Premium Starter Kit for $150.  This is a STEAL!  Why you ask....let me show you!!

You get a home diffuser, 10+1 bottles of essential oil, and other samples!  This is a $289.17 RETAIL  VALUE!  You are saving nearly 50%!  
The bottles of oil you receive are all 5 ml.  These are not just a drop or 2 to sample!  These are full bottles.  You do get a few sample packets to share your love of oils with others!

If you are interested, please read the following.  

How to Order your Young Living Premium Starter Kit

Before beginning the sign-up process, please read these helpful tips:
-Do not use your phone! It won’t work!
-If you use a tablet, you must be in Google Chrome. Safari won’t work.
-Once you begin the sign-up process, you must complete it uninterrupted. It will take approximately 10-15 minutes.
Here is how to order:
1. Go to this website: www.youngliving.com/signup
2. Enter your country and your language.
3. Choose “wholesale member” to receive a 24% discount on all Young Living products. Please note, there is no requirement to sell a product and no minimum amount to buy each month. (This is similar to joining Sam’s or Costco. You join the club in order to receive the discount.)
4. Enter the member number of the person that told you about Young Living in both the Sponsor ID (2571632) and the Enroller ID (2571632) fields. If you aren’t sure of their number, please ask them. These numbers are what connect you to our oily family and how you will access your oily help and resources.
5. Enter your personal information.
6. Agree to the Terms & Conditions by checking the box.
7. Choose your preferred language.
8. Optional: enter an email address-great for monthly promos and specials
9. Create a username, password, and pin number. Please write this information down! You will need it when you decide to order more oils and/or products.
10. Pick your Premium Starter Kit. Most people choose the first option in the upper left-hand corner: the Premium Starter Kit for $150. This kit contains the Home Diffuser and the 11 Everyday Essential Oils.
11. OPTIONAL: Enroll in Essential Rewards. Most people choose to wait on this option. Please scroll down to the place where it says, “No, thank you.” If you are interested in this, feel free to contact me for more information!
12. Enter your credit card information.
13. Click next.
14. Confirm your shipping address.
15. Check all of your account information. Click “create account.”
16. You are now in your Young Living virtual office. At the top of your screen, you should see your name and your member number next to that. Please write that number down.
17. Optional: If you would like to add more product to your order, you may do it on this page. Click “continue shopping” and search for the items you want to add.
18. Once your cart is full, please click “Complete Checkout.”
19. They will ask you for your shipping address and your method of shipping.
20. Many times they will ask you for your credit card information again.
21. Review your order. If you are satisfied with what you see, please click “confirm order.”
22. When you order is complete, you will see a screen that says, “Thank you for your order.” 

Stay tuned for more info on my favorite oils!!  Have an oily day!  :)

Getting out of debt...

I don't know why life is so full of temptations!!  It makes it so hard to just get by....forget getting ahead!  

We pay our bills, but definitely not great at saving for a rainy day!  So we're on a track to get out of debt!!  Mission #1: pay off the car loans!!  We are 1/2 way there!!  WOOT!!  Friday, we paid off my husbands car!  Now, we are under 12 months on my car!  

Next mission....pay off the parents that made college for a single mom possible!  While I am eternally grateful that my parents basically helped me survive during college, I hate that I spent so much money during my 4 years!  I will pay back every last penny!!  Even if it kills me.  I really hope to be able to boost their monthly payment as soon as my car is paid off too!  Then, they will be paid much faster!!  

And my next goal!!  Actually have a down payment when I go to buy my next car!  Not just a trade in, but money....CASH....that I can hand them to lower my loan!!  

I sure wish that we could just be debt free, and do what we wanted, but I guess life isn't fair....so it won't ever happen!  

Child Support

I'm in a mood to basically just vent!!

If you know me....you know I have an amazing family!  I have the best husband a girl could ask for, and I have an awesome daughter as well!!  Unfortunately my husband is not my daughter's biological father....and this is where the venting starts!

I had my daughter when I was 23 years old.  I wasn't "too young" but I certainly wasn't old enough to "know better".  I got married pretty much right out of high school, and settled down.  It was ROUGH!  Very rough!  But I pushed through.  I pushed through finding women's underwear in my couch!!!  I pushed through finding other women's phone numbers in my husband's wallet.  I even pushed through him leaving me home pregnant and sick to "go buy a hammer" (aka...see the girl at the hardware store).      What the fuck is wrong with me to stick around through all this???  Well, I was pregnant, and I worked at Walmart.  I knew I couldn't do it on my own.

So, I stuck it out for as long as I could.  My daughter was born, and things were going okay.  Then when she was about 15 months old....I couldn't take the fighting and chaos anymore!  I gave him an ultimatum that things had to change or I would leave.  Needless to say, he chose to not even speak to me about it...so I left!  Thankfully I had my parents to help me out!  I moved back home with my sweet little girl, and they supported me immensely.

Ok....sorry, I had to preface this whole venting session!  :)  So, I became a single mom.  I worked, went back to college, and eventually moved out on my own.  Did I make some unwise choices?  Absolutely!  But I pushed through and made sacrifices so my daughter was ALWAYS taken care of.

Anyway...her father (aka...sperm donor) was ordered to pay $350 child support monthly.  Seriously....that's it!  So he's always been inconsistent.  Oh, he's also ordered to provide health insurance for her too!  HAH!

So, last year, when she was 10 years old, I decided that I was going to get an individual insurance policy on her, since he didn't have any insurance.  I told him that since he was responsible to provide her insurance, he should give me the money I'm putting out.  He agreed (amazingly)....but then he 'lost his job' and couldn't give me any money.  Not only that....he didn't pay child support then either!

So, here we are nearly a year later.  I have paid ever penny towards her health insurance premium, paid every co-pay, paid her deductible, and have yet to receive a penny from him.  He had got caught up on child support...but has now fallen behind again.  I am beyond frustrated that nearly every single dollar I have received for child support has gone towards health insurance, co-pays, and deductibles.  I'm not even joking!!  All of it!  So what exactly is the point of child support?  I get that I should provide for her too!  And I do!  She doesn't go without!  I sometimes wish he would just sign his rights over and go away!  This frustration is more than I can take!  

So, today I just needed to vent that children are EXPENSIVE!   I just want what is supposed to be done, to be done!  Pay for her health insurance and pay your child support!!!

Needless to say, I sent him a message questioning about child support and money....so I'm sure that I will get a not so nice message back!  Oh well....take care of your daughter that you helped create!!