Thursday, February 15, 2018
ENOUGH!!!
When is it going to happen here? Yes, I said it! When? Will my daughter be a victim? It's just a waiting game.... it's not what if anymore. It's when!
Why do I say this? Well, because all anyone wants to do is "offer prayers" and debate the mental health issue!
I'm an atheist. I don't believe in prayer. You are entitled to believe as you choose....it's just not my thing. I ask you, what are all these "prayers" actually doing??? Have they helped anyone or helped our nation find a way to end all the violence?
Then there's the debate.... UGH! It's a mental health issue is all anyone will say. I don't disagree that we have a mental health crisis. But there's more to it! Maybe by at least trying to restrict guns to mentally ill people might help some! If you've been investigated by the FBI for possible violence or are on a watch list...you probably shouldn't be able to just go buy a gun. WHAT.A.CONCEPT! Nope, we can't keep them from buying weapons in our country.
I'm furious we keep having to mourn like this! Why the fuck can't we work together to fix this problem?
I don't want to take your damn guns away! That's not what anyone asked for! All I want is more restrictions, background checks, training, etc. put in place to get the gun. I get there is a black market. I still think more restrictions would help at least limit the amount of school shootings that happen.
It's scary that we have to worry when we send out kids to school. A place to learn. A place to help them grow.
Please put aside politics. Put aside your religion. Just imagine if it happened in your hometown. The school where your children go daily. Would a prayer be enough to help you get past it? What if you lost a child? Do you really think that spouting mental health care is going to help you?
I want this to stop! Before it's just another statistic. Before you or I lose a child.
Friday, October 6, 2017
Depression...
I'm struggling! I have been for awhile now. Even on meds, I'm still not my norm.
I'm not suicidal! Don't worry about that! I'm just off...
Lazy. Unmotivated. The struggle is real!
It doesn't help that you want to be involved in certain people's lives...and you have someone who it seems doesn't want you to have any part of it! 😞 (That's a blog for another day)
Some days it's me, just fine. Other days it's laying on the sofa and no motivation to even move.
My blog is really the only place I get super candid about me and my life. Few read it....and I feel like it's my only outlet sometimes (other than the hubs). I truly don't even care who reads it...I just don't "share" that it's there. I used to, but I honestly don't like confrontation, and I tell me here. I don't want to be judged or criticized or someone try to "convert" how I think. So today, I'm candid with how I'm feeling and how hard it is.
If you struggle with depression, I understand! I'm also an open ear! I truthfully don't know who to talk to anymore. I don't feel like any of my 'friends' get me. Family got in the way. Life happened. And I don't get to "go out" or "hang out" with people. I really just want to cry...but it makes my throat hurt, so I try to avoid it.
If you're reading... thanks for sticking it through till the end. That means a lot actually! 💙
Thursday, September 14, 2017
Sleep
Some of us have experienced MANY nights with little to no sleep.
Then there's me! I thought I was sleeping! I mean how is that even possible? I go to bed. Sometimes I get up a time or two or four.... but I was sleeping.
Then, I'd want to sleep ALL. THE. TIME.
At work. At home. In the car. It didn't matter where I was.
Then my doctor suggested a sleep study. I thought he was silly. It's such an expensive test, and I was sleeping. My husband never heard me quit breathing. So why?
But I complied.
The night of the test, I had to be at the hospital at 7:15 p.m. I certainly don't go to bed that early, so I was wondering how long it really took to get me checked in and ready for this test.
I was in for a surprise! It took quite some time to get me ready for bed.
The amount of wires stuck to my body.... OH. MY.
After getting me all hooked, I just watched tv until I was ready to attempt to go to sleep.
By the way....I expected a hospital room. Nope, nada, not happening! I had a tiny room with a twin bed, a chair, and a table for their machine. The tv was mounted to the wall at the foot of the bed. There was a small lamp atop the table. That's it! Nothing else. No bathroom in the room! I had to walk into a common area to use the restroom! 😱 In my night clothes! WHAT!
Doesn't this look like sleeping gear to you??
TV off. Laying in bed. Wondering what exactly I got myself into.
There's sticky in my hair. My hair is in my face! I have weird things
in my nose! What is this?
It took nearly an hour to fall asleep!
At 12:55 a.m. I get a wake up. The sleep lab tech tells me that I have stopped breathing enough that they are putting me on a cpap machine right away. As if I really needed any more equipment on me!
He takes off a few of my wires! Sweet! And gets me equipped with a mask for the cpap. Then I fall asleep. I don't remember much after that....except I had to readjust when the mask would start making weird sounds (because it would "leak").
The tech came in a time or two in the night to fix wires I yanked off in my sleep. Then they woke me at 6:00ish.
Not near enough sleep for this girl!!
The tech did tell me he came in at one point to tighten my mask, and he tried to wake me. But I didn't wake! I never heard him! lol! They get me all unhooked and tell me to go home and I'll hear from someone in 7-10 days about getting my cpap machine.
😨 Say what!!
I was bad enough that you hooked me up to one after 2 hours...but I have to wait another week to get my own!
So I wait. Then finally a little over a week later, I get the call that I can go pick up my machine. YES! I meet with the respiratory therapist to get all the deets about how to use it and take care of it.
Then she tells me my sleep study results.
When a person quits breathing 40 times in one hour, it is considered extreme! I quit breathing 140 times per hour! 😨😱 Seriously! That's about every 25 seconds!
It's no wonder I was tired all the time!
Now, I'm equipped with a cpap at home and I find myself still somewhat adjusting to sleeping with a weird mask on. Although I sleep SO. MUCH. BETTER. I'm still tired some, but no naps at lunch for this girl anymore!
And my husband says I'm not snoring anymore! WHAT!
I recommend the awful sleep study if you think there might be a problem! As I am a new person!
Friday, January 20, 2017
Don't give up hope
I'm tired of people telling me (or posting on facebook) the following:
- Get over it!
- Deal with it!
- Now you know how I've felt the last 8 years!
- He is your President!
Even though....we've been telling them these things aren't okay! AND THEY'RE NOT!!!
I VERY, very rarely post any political thoughts on facebook. I mostly try to stay out of arguments (even though I did engage a couple people recently). And I don't EVER belittle anyone for thinking differently than me. It's not me. And it's also not right.
Unfortunately, everyone doesn't think that way. They have been empowered to tell me (and people that think like me) that I'm (they're) wrong. That I think wrong.
I use my blog as my source of venting. It is public (as you know if you're reading this), but I don't share my posts publicly any more. I try to avoid the criticism from those who do think differently. So if you're reading and you want to post hate, please move on! I have no time or energy to engage with you. If you want to share your thoughts or beliefs in a respectful manner, you are welcome to do so....regardless if you think differently than me.
I don't hope that he fails! I truly don't! But I'm scared of what's to come. What he will tweet. What decisions he will make. What decisions his cabinet will make. Because those decisions affect us all. They affect our children's educations. Their futures!
I've truly never been a political person. I've voted in every Presidential election...but I've just never been passionate about it. I've also never been so compelled to hate someone the way I hate him. I've never felt so at fear for the sake of our country! I don't know what's to come, just like the rest of the country....but I can't shake this feeling. The uneasiness in my stomach. The pressure on my chest. I feel it to the core of my being. I want to reach out to those who feel the same way. To those who need a hand. To those who need a hug. I want change and I plan to start working towards it now!
Just know, that I respect each person's choice to love who they choose. Your skin color does not make you a bad person. A woman can decide whether she will carry and birth a baby. And I will go high, when they go low! I will keep fighting for what I believe in!
If you too are struggling with this....I understand. But don't lose hope of what we can accomplish. Don't lose hope in the future. Change can happen. Stand up for what you believe! Stand up for those who can't!
I will fight for what I believe in! ❤
Monday, November 14, 2016
Electoral College or Popular Vote?
Electoral College OR Popular Vote???
Just in case someone doesn't really know what the electoral college is... A general definition from Wikipedia: The United States Electoral College is the body that elects the president and vice president of the United States every four years. Citizens of the United States do not directly elect the president or the vice president; instead they choose "electors", who pledge beforehand to vote for the candidate who wins in their party.
Friday, November 11, 2016
Election 2016
Okay, so I'm obviously a Liberal. I'm a blue. In a giant sea of red. You might be too...or you might not. It doesn't make me care any less about you!
I've taken a few days to process this....and I still am shocked! I honestly thought, she had this election in the bag! I thought there was ZERO chance for DJT to get elected!
Then, the election happened.
I honestly have never felt so empty, so lost over something that I don't have sole control over! I mean, I voted. I did my part. I knew that I was not going to change the outcome of my red state, but I still voted. I was the majority!
Then, there is the horror of Facebook. Every time I look at it, there is someone mocking those who are distraught. They are telling us to get over it. Deal with it. WELL I DON'T WANT TO! I am NOT a "Libtard" as they say! I am a very well educated woman. I do my research, I know my values. And I vote based on that! Truthfully, I don't vote a straight ticket even.
To those who think that we are "over reacting"...please understand. I have watched you mock our current POTUS for the last 8 years. You think he needs to be gone. You think he's done nothing helpful. I have said NOTHING to you. I haven't told you that you need to get over it. Or that you need to deal with it. I tolerated your ignorant memes. I let you have your own pity party, for EIGHT whole years!
So please, give me my time to mourn. Give those who want to march and protest their time. Remember that a peaceful protest is protected by our US Constitution. We have freedom of speech. Just like you!
In the end, we all have to hope that our President elect has the best interests of our country at heart. That he truly wants to make things better. I don't feel like he has to "Make America Great Again", because I feel like it's already great! We live in the best country! We have so many rights that are guaranteed by our Constitution.
My hopes are that he doesn't carry through with plans for mass deportations, banning Muslims, blocking abortions completely, ending all LGBT rights, and totally dismantling "Obamacare". These things are where my fear and hurt come in. These things will affect many people. Hurt many people. And we are all human beings. We all have issues we need to deal with. You are not to judge based on how one chooses to live their life. If you don't agree with them, please remove yourself from their life. But....please don't try to tell them or me how to live.
PS....Please treat your children how to act towards others! The name calling, mocking, and straight up bullying based on political beliefs is ABSURD! We are all free to believe what we choose! We all need to understand that there will be highs, and lows, and wins, and losses. There will be mourning, sadness, joyfulness, and excitement for each political election. Each child and adult will handle their emotions differently. There is no need to instigate a reaction, name call, mock, or bully someone for their reactions. Let them be. We will all "get over it" in time. We will accept that DJT is our POTUS, and we will survive.
Just know...that #imstillwithher
On a final note, a quote from Secretary Clinton's most remarkable concession speech: And — and to all the little girls who are watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams.
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Blog Revamp
New background.
New fonts.
Lots of changes.
While I'm here, I vent a little! ;) This whole political season has me in the weirdest of moods. I feel like everyone is attacking everyone else. If you don't agree with them, you can't be friends. It's just so crazy. The reason our country works, is because we don't all want the same things. We don't all always agree. We have our own thoughts. Ideas. Dreams. Aspirations. We have to learn to work together for the common good. I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking it's okay to call someone names because of who they are voting for. I don't want her to call someone names for any reason. Treat people with respect! Love them!
But this weather! It's so very perfect. Windows and doors open. Breeze blowing through. 70°. Too bad it can't be this way always!
PS....being an adult is sometimes VERY unfun too!
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Out of Shape and Out of Motivation
When I get back to myself....I have been changing other things in my life to help better myself. Like eating less carbs. Eating more vegetables. Cutting out some OTC pills. Using essential oils. But just changing those things doesn't change much with my body size and weight. I feel like I'm forever doomed to be fat! It's hard to start walking or exercising when I'm this fat...because it takes so much effort! I know people say just get up and do it, but it hurts. I hurt. I just want to cry.
I don't want sympathy. I don't want encouragement. I just wanted to whine and vent.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
When You Want to Give Your Spouse Something You Can't
That moment....your team, the Kansas City Royals that is....makes it to the World Series! The excitement is unreal!
Let me start by saying that we've been Royals fans, even when they weren't good! We've spent money to see our team play, and lose miserably. We've spent money to cheer them on and root for them anyway!
But then there's this.... they've made it to the World Series the last 2 years! I somehow feel so worthless, because I can't even afford 1 ticket. I can't send my husband to watch his team! Our team! It's so sad to me!
It makes me question my career choices, my spending habits, everything I do. How can do many people afford these tickets, but I can't even get it together and afford 1 ticket?
#foreverRoyal #takethecrown #trueblue
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Essential Oils
Remember, when I write about essential oils, I am ONLY writing about Young Living essential oils! They are a pure therapeutic grade oil, that is derived from plants. They are strictly tested, as well as the seeds, soil, plants, etc! It is a long process and it makes it all worth it, to know that the essential oil I am using is of the very best quality! I know there were no pesticides used on or around the plant it came from. I know that it was tested after distillation, and that it met all standards! Go HERE to see more info on Young Living's Seed to Seal promise!
Have you ever wondered about getting started with essential oils? I would love to answer any questions you have, and help you get started! You can either message me here on my blog, contact me on facebook, or call/text me if you have my cell number. ;)
If you are interested in just diving in, to improve your health and wellness....you can go HERE to get your Premium Starter Kit. When you sign up and order your Premium Starter Kit, I will send you some goodies to help get your started on your health and wellness journey!!
If you are interested in making some extra money, I will share with you how to do that as well! :)
By the way, if you didn't already know....my family LOVES our essential oils! My favorite is the Cool Azul Sports Cream...and a close second is Tranquil Roll-On. Ali loves Lavender!
Friday, July 17, 2015
Adoption
Richie has been in Ali's life for 7 years (she was only 6 when he came to us). Over her half her life! He's been providing for her for over half her life! Giving her love, compassion, and attention...for over half her life!
The sperm donor (this is what I've decided to call him, because he has no idea on how great of a kid he missed out on)....well he was in the picture for about 2 years. Then it got less and less. I bet I could count on 2 hands how many times he's seen her in the last 7 years! No joke!
Anyhow, Richie has always been daddy! He's shown Ali a father's love, treated her like his little girl, and been there for her through all her ups and downs.
This year, after being told "Don't text me anymore" about needs for his child...we filed the adoption. I couldn't take the frustration that came along with dealing with him! Why can he not step up to the plate and care for his daughter??
After consulting an attorney...we paid the retainer and filed the paperwork. We were told to expect 6 months, even if he sent the papers back consenting to the adoption. Low and behold...he sent them back in record time!! Sad that he could just sign her away!!
The best part...after Ali met with her attorney (the guardian ad litem, required for a minor child), the attorney's got a court date scheduled!
We went to court on July 6, just 2 short months after filing for the adoption! Richie and I both had to "testify" that we knew what we were doing, could support her (like we hadn't been already? ha!), and that if we split up he would be entitled to custody rights and paying child support. Fifteen (yes 15) short minutes later, we were out of the court room with Ali legally belonging to Richie and I!!!!
![]() |
| Adoption day!! |
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Our Failing Education System
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Living Through a Renovation


Monday, May 18, 2015
Run Like a Diva
Ali loves doing 5K's! Last year she did quite a few of them. This year, we've only managed to get her signed up for 1 so far, but she was awesome!!!
Yesterday she participated in the Diva's 5K in Branson. Ali did this same race last year, and she had fun! Plus, it's always fun to get away to Branson! ;) Last year, my mom had said she wanted to join Ali for a fun, girly 5K....so we signed her and Ali up together!












